(Paul Kaufman kicks out the jammies with new kid-friendly lyrics to old favorites.)
I’ve mentioned before that a little bundle of joy arrived at our house last fall. Our daughter is six months old now, and she’s a wonder to behold. She’ll soon reach the age at which I have to stop singing the real lyrics to “I Wanna Be Your Dog” during our musical play times.
But I’m thinking that instead of discarding such classics altogether, how about substitution of age-appropriate lyrics? I think Dr. Seuss could probably help with a lot of these situations:
“Somebody’s calling on the phone,
A voice says, hey, is Dee Dee at home?
Do you want to wear some socks?
Do you want to box a Gox?
Do you want wear some Gox box socks?”
Or
“I’m waiting for my Man.
He’s the guy with the Green Eggs and Ham.
Up to Lexington, 1-2-5
Gonna have breakfast right after I arrive,
I’m waiting for my Man.”
They don’t have to involve Seuss:
“Now I’m ready to close my eyes.
And now I’m ready to close my mind.
Now I’m ready to take a nap.
As I lay right here on my daddy’s lap.”
Kiddie pictures from the Che Underground!
I’d say these sound better than a lot of the Barney-licious pablum that’s out there.
Okay, gang, make up your own!
— Paul Kaufman
More by Paul Kaufman:
- Songs that were separated at birth?
- Seen any good shows lately?
- ‘Sesame Street’: Forty years ago today …
- Beatles: Rock Band … The missing buttons
- Nostradamus I’m Not Part 3: Punk rock sweeps America!
- Nostradamus I’m Not Part 2: The Cold War
- Nostradamus I’m Not Part 1: The Final Frontier
- Sucking in the ’60s
- London Calling
- El sabor de San Diego
“I’m Only Teething”
“Paper Bag Diaper”
“Got to Get You into My Wipes”
“The Drool on the Hill”
“Gum Together”
I just sang ’em “Things We Said Today” and “Heart of Gold” -- no alterations.
Oh, and also “B-A-B-Y, Baby” by Carla Thomas, with some minor subject/object reversal… 🙂
This thread reminds me of an album I bought a year or two ago, My First Punk Rock Record by Chip Kinman and PCH, which I think includes actual children. Kinman, you likely remember, has San Diego County roots and played in the Dils, Rank and File, Blackbird, and Cowboy Nation. I liked the album, which sounds a little like the Ramones playing Sesame Street, but I couldn’t get the kids interested in it. They preferred the Shaggs!
the album conjure
which is music to the text of
Ishmael Reed
by various artists released in 1984
on american clave label
has a great tune called
foolology
I’m not awake enough, yet, so I couldn’t come up with anything to fix “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails. I’ll just throw it out there and let more lucid minds take a swing at it.
On that note, it seems like this game can go both ways, right?
http://www.sadkermit.com/
Mad Magazine had a Star Trek musical , and I remember a song sung to the Beatle’s Yesterday,
Pinkus East
Thats where budget conscious spacemen feast
eat the most and pay the least
beam on down to Pinkus East.
“Yes, how many spots have a bi-nar-y sun where a guy can get a two-sided tan? … The answer, my friends, is here on Pinkus South! The answer is here on Pinkus South.”
With kids named Sadie and Lily, personalized rock-‘n’-roll numbers were easy in my house. 🙂
Our little one is Martha- together, we could have a mega White Album-themed party. Anyone got a kid named Rocky? Or Prudence?
Julia??
If we’d had a boy, I would’ve had to name him Bungalow Bill.
Please allow me to excuse myself
I gotta go, and get rid of some waste
what goes in must then come back out
we don’t eat food just for the taste
I ate my share of pizza and pop
of fruits and vegetables and grains
made real sure my plate was left clean
and my stomach knows how to make food change
Cheese and meat too
it all ends up the same
It’s something we all do
but it’s not polite to shout its name
I’m finished with my breakfast
‘cos I puked it up onto the floor
People try to feed me things
That I do not want anymore.
Can you help me?
Get me out of this chair…..
Make a meal for me to try
But I will pout and I will cry.
Don’t take me to a restaurant
‘cos Mommy’s milk is what I want.
I came into this world, like a puzzled Pamper,
Waiting … To be changed …
A few years ago some good friends adopted a baby girl from China. She was about 1-year-old at the time. When they brought her over to meet our family, we played a Loretta Lynn honky tonk album. The baby swooned, climbed up on the coffee table, swayed to the rhythm, and sang her heart out in gibberish.
okay…
“The Diaper at the Gates of Dawn”
Now that I’m frequently singing the current chart toppers Twinkle, Twinkle/Alphabet Song to my daughter, it’s become apparent to me that these make a perfect three-chord segue into “I Fought the Law”, closely followed by a lyrically sanitized version of the Injections “Prison Walls”.
Not only is this disturbingly accurate in terms of voice timbre, but he also provides the ultimate shout outs to the toddler-centric literature that has become my short list:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/14/jimmy-fallon-as-jim-morrison-reading-rainbow_n_1093328.html?ref=mostpopular