Time for a little topical palate-cleanser after all this rear-view mirror-gazing: I want to know if we really are the people our parents warned us about. (Well, not mine, considering some of their friends — but maybe yours. Maybe.)
Here’s the question: If you had the chance to spend half an hour chatting with yourself ca. 1983, what would the 1983 you have to say about the 2008 you? (Let’s say you couldn’t reveal your identity or tell yourself to buy Microsoft.)
I’ll start: “He seemed pretty cool for his age … Sort of reminded me of my dad, but he’s got a desk job at some publishing company in New York. It’s bizarre, though: He lives right by the city, but he said he spends practically every night at home in New Jersey. Which just seems kind of creepy — if it were me, I’d go nuts with all the clubs and art shows and bands!
“I wonder if he’s some kind of religious nut? He came across pretty funny and hip (for his age), but then he started coming up with all these fuckin’ sincere platitudes about appreciating life and how you’re only young once … Blah, blah, blah. Plus, he says he hasn’t picked up his electric guitar in a year. ‘I’m more of a ukulele guy now.’ I bet he’s into health food, too. So, yeah … Reasonably cool, unless he was some sort of weird religious Burl Ives-looking ax murderer.
“… Oh, shit! Was he hitting on me??”
He’d probably say, “Now that’s what I wanna be like when Im that age… except for the fact that he spends way too much time worrying about things. He should be more like me and never worry about anything.”
I’d say: “Lighten up, kid. Someday you won’t care if someone has a cool record collection.”
My 1981 self would most definitely hit Dave’s post millennium self up for some spare change.
My younger self would be bemused by the absence of basic black from my wardrobe.
My older self would try to tell my younger self that, despite my apparent crazyness, the deep suspicion that I held -- that everything will ultimately work itself out to my favor and benefit, through apparent benign spiritual guidance -- is in fact true.
That is, if my younger self did not constantly interrupt and tell him that he already knew that and how cool it was.
My younger self would marvel at how much I look like my grandfather/father. it does happen!
I would tell my younger self a few things about: work, learning to work with others, so that it wouldn’t have taken so long to settle in a career path.
I do agree with Jerry on what he says that things ultimately will work themselves out. One does have to have that stubborn self confidence/will/self guidance to keep going, no matter what shit hits the fan.
I still interrupt myself thinking I already know the golden rules, yet re-learn them everyday.
My younger self would also wonder why this guy always feels the need to be busy doing something productive and never seems to be able to just relax and enjoy things like just sitting around listening to music.
I keep trying but i cant seem to do this. The changes are to vast and the things that are the natural evelution of where the young me stood are in plane sight to old me. the politics, the food i eat, the house i own cus it reminded me of pats moms house, my religious leanings, the kind of parent i am & the people i associate with. all shaped by the experiences i had with you people. By the by, i saw jerrys myspace and it made me smile hard, i hope its alright for me to comment on this ? the handsome family, jerry as and older gent, looking even more the international man of mystery. the car !! jag, yes. all these years i pictured a sixtys model. so it goes. some of us i expected no less, others, myself included. im just glad to see there is no attendant or gaurd in the back ground of our pictures.
I agree with your sentiment Cricket. The changes are vast, yet easily measurable when I think of the last 20+years. Suprisingly, or not so suprisingly really, I still love everyone I still love for all of the same reasons…and more.
I do know one thing; my older self would tell my younger self to fully appreciate the 16oz Pepsi in a glass bottle, chased with a fresh Chesterfield.
I think my younger self would be thankful I made it to Garris’s age (hee hee).
My younger self would freak out over the fact that I would have no hair 20 years later, but love the fact that I was playing guitar. Songs like “A Night in Tunisia,” “Joy Spring,” “Recorda-Me” and “Doxy” might be a far cry from “Oh, Well I Tried,” but it’s great to still be playing music. Besides, I don’t have to provide the rehearsal space anymore.
I just wish someone had told me to get a Gibson L-4 back then. It’s the only guitar I’ll ever need.
Don’t sell that Fender Jaguar!
Regarding Dave’s comment:
(“My younger self would also wonder why this guy always feels the need to be busy doing something productive and never seems to be able to just relax and enjoy things like just sitting around listening to music.”)
I think that if our younger selves had any foresight they would remind our older selves that sitting around listening to music IS productive. It’s enriched all of our lives and, speaking for myself, I wouldn’t know any of you if it weren’t for ties to something music related.
i’ll see you saterday eric.
Bobo pointed out today that my young self might crack a smile to see an old guy like me with all these shitty tattoos. I suppose I might tell him to not attempt applying any more of them himself.
I don’t think Garris was as old as we figured. I’m trying to find a bio for his older brother Phil, but no joy yet. The one real Garris artifact I’ve found was this 1975 fanzine — how old do you figure he was when he did this? Twenty, 25? That would make him 30-ish during the era in question. Which seems reasonable, despite the premature wear and tear.
I guess Chris Negro was also a lot younger than I’d assumed, if he was indeed in high school in the late ’70s.
Bottom line: I think all the “old guys” were at least 10 years younger then than I am now! My 1983 self would definitely wonder why the hell I was following him around.
i remember drinking and giving garris a bleeding bad moe hok in somones bathroom in or around 83 er 4 on his 40th birthday. thats all i got to figure by on that. i seem to remember bruther chris as having been only 5 er 6 years my senior as well.
OK, so Steve was as old as we thought! LOL … Damn! He’s pushing 65 now. Recalling our recent movie thread, I keep picturing William Hickey in the role.
I bet Christopher Walken could do a great Garris. Gary Oldman isn’t tall enough.
My older self would only have one piece of advice:
“Hang on to the funny ones, not the cute ones.”
I don’t think I have any photos of SFG, but I know I have one or two of Chris Negro. How about Lou Damian? Wasn’t he older too? I was 18 in ’84 and a lot of people seemed older then….
Cyndie,
Lou was the same age as Eric Bacher -- so that would have him at about 18 in 1984. I was a whopping 19/20.
A lot of us were semi-feral, having been abandoned or run off from home. That contributes quickly to characteristics that make someone seem older. I just look at those pictures you posted and see children…
In this frame, Garris looks even more Keith Richards than I remember! 🙂
Cyndie: Jonesing for some Chris Negro beefcake here … Do you have photos of Lou Damien? One of the liveliest spots in our crowd, and someone I very much hope joins us here soon.
Steve looks a lot better here than he did to my 20 year old self. Kinda cool, actually.
Jerry--great term: semi-feral.
I recall that if I looked at him while sampling the magic box tops he looked quite skeletal.
Lou Skum.
Link to bigger photo (Amish computer skills):
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2163/2403657403_0a2ab4d5e5_o.jpg
Matt,
I just scanned a couple of good Lou pics and a great one of Chris Negro. I’ll shoot them off to you.
I agree about the bunch of worldy children -- as I’m looking through the photos I do a lot of gasping.
i would say, “where’s all the shabu?”
There’s too much foreboding stuff I would have to tell myself, but I really laughed out loud at BoBo’s sentiment that it’s very fortunate that there is no guard or attendant in the backgrounds of everyone’s pitures. Pure luck.
Hi Eric Bacher. I remember Pepsis in the bottle. Seemed important. Do you remember coming over to my house on 58th st?
My younger self would be happy there was an older self to look at.
Younger me would say, “Damn, I hope I am that hot in 20 years! I mean, Jesus, that woman is smokin’!”
I had an older friend at the time who told me I’d forget all the stuff that was breaking my heart then. It was true and I appreciated her telling me. Now I sometimes do that for younger friends.
Older me would say, “Don’t go long without talking to Dan Howland when you get in snits with each other. Take the time to talk it through. He’ll be an awesome friend for a long time. Plus, you owe him- the boy doesn’t need to share his grandma’s mac & cheese like that.”
I am trapped in a very crowded train with a flirtatious group of girls and boys of about 20 years old who are talking about Brazilian waxes and pole-dancing. I am also sitting next to an elderly nun, who seems very nice and would like to talk about the stock market. I realize I am much happier with the nun.
hear hear.
Matt,
It’s funny you should mention that, because right now I am trapped in a very crowded train with a flirtatious group of nuns who are talking about Brazilian waxes and pole-dancing.
When I was a kid we were so poor when I broke my leg we had to go to the airport to get an X-Ray.
Didn’t Woody Allen have a routine about his parents taking him to the used pet store?
Oh god- Henry Rollins has a great story about he and Ian Mackaye working at a pet store. I’ll see what I can do to conjure that up. It’s fricken beautiful.
ray, yes! i totally remember something like that. but no one does, “i grew up poor” like carlin.
>When I was a kid we had to walk twelve miles through broken glass just to get an ass kicking.
Admit it, Toby, you posted that so I’d have to say: No, No! THIS is the best post yet! Excuse me, I have to go find a kid to yell that rant at.
robin, tell me how it goes. i think i might use it, too. but in these parts people don’t take kindly to ranty old ladies like me. that’s why i stay home a lot.
Toby Lifehater March 5, 2009 above. Cracked me up all day. Totally planning to use it on kids at “Watchmen” tonight. I’ll just start belting it out in the popcorn line.
>people don’t take kindly to ranty old ladies like me. that’s why i stay home a lot.
No, baby, we ranty old ladies don’t give a shit. The world is our goddamn oyster. Play outside. And shamelessly check out young guys’ butts along the way.
yeah! a sister ranty old chick! (actually, i would bet you and i out hot most of those 20 somethings by far…)
let’s take on the whipper snappers when we go to the park. we can be snarky to them and then giggle it up as they walk away entirely befuddled.
> i would bet you and i out hot most of those 20 somethings by far
That’s what the two pretty boys taking me out tonight said. (High five!)
Dream on Grannies…..dream on.
sorry to invade your thread, have fun.
sweet! go you!
bruce, it’s on. i will see your “dream on” with a “you wish”.
I’m so glad it’s on!!
I will see your “you wish” with -- don’t be so afraid of growing older.
Go gently into that good night.
Hold your dyed heads up high !!!
bruce -- now, back to relentlessly lashing in a more appropriate thread.
haha! nah, i’m actually cool with getting older. it’s not a big deal. it’s life.
being a granny is a mixed bag -- somedays it is full of wise sage snackwraps and other days I want to pull it over my head -- don’t look at me! ( in Frank Booth voice)
anyone notice that “sheetmarks” take all day to go away now?
there’s an indented roadmap on my face!
I figure, as long as the carpet matches the drapes … Kind of a Spanish-moss theme!
matthew, you are on a damn roll.
Thanks for bringing a new meaning to confidentiality earlier Matt.
bruce
>>It’s funny you should mention that, because right now I am trapped in a very crowded train with a flirtatious group of nuns who are talking about Brazilian waxes and pole-dancing.
I forgot to mention that this made me fall DOWN!
i was realizing today that i know a lot of funny old codgers. that makes me happy.
😉
>Dream on Grannies…..dream on.
Bruce- would have countered this earlier, but was out until 4:00 a.m. with two beautiful 25-year-old men- being awed by “The Watchmen” and eating Capitol Hill’s finest pizza. Too busy living the dream to blog.
>>was out until 4:00 a.m. with two beautiful 25-year-old men
2 X (beautiful 25-yr-old men) = 1 X (extremely tall, spindly but STUNNING 50-yr-old man)
I aspire to these heights in six years. I need a stepladder and maybe a weed whacker. (Spanish moss.)
(robin, was the watchmen worth it? i hear mixed reviews)
I don’t see how it would be possible to do it better unless you produced a 10-hour verbatim film of the entire book. And that would reach an audience of maybe 25 people. I could not help clapping at the end even though I knew no performers could hear. An irrepressible response. Go with someone who will let you squeeze their hand during the tough parts. They’re not kidding when they say graphic.
Also- apparently the book-within-a-book was released as a separate DVD. So, be prepared to miss that.
My daughter and I totally want to see “Watchmen.”
A.O. Scott in the NY Times *was* hella funny in requesting a moratorium on the use of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” in movies. (“Yes, I too have heard there was a secret chord that David played, and blah blah blah, but I don’t want to hear it again. Do you?”)
It was funny in the movie though. I don’t think it was supposed to be, but I’ll take laughs where I can get them. A fair response to the people who brought us The Comedian.
How old is she?
She’s 15 … Big fan of the graphic novel, and a lot of other rough sledding.
She modeled a lot of art on “Maus” when she was 12!!
Then she’ll probably like it and make snarky comments about omissions- just because she won’t be able to stop that kind of thing for at least 3 more years.
You, as a parent, may need to look away during Rorschach’s Rorschach. You can plug your ears and asked her to nudge you when it’s safe. Warning: Right after it ends, there’s a brief pause, then verbal recap.
Yeah, that shit’s HARROWING in the book. I identify with that poor therapist, too.
>>i was realizing today that i know a lot of funny old codgers. that makes me happy.
Actually, I want to be a funky old cougar. Ruth Gordon in “Harold and Maude” is my spirit guide.
matthew, dude, getting called a cougar when i was dating my last squeeze (who is 29) was hilarious. i am so far from being a cougar. someday, though, you and i can get out there and growl at the youngens together and watch what happens.
in college we studied the watchmen. my prof was a groovy young cat who loved the graphic novel just as much as i do. my current favorite? the walking dead. it’s teh shizz. if you like zombies.
maus emulation at 12? yeah, she’s her fathers daughter, for sure.
My Webster’s says “cougar” means, “I am so freakin’ jealous of that hot woman, I could cry.”
robin, i love you.
I love you, too, Ava- you very hot woman.
OK, I either want to be a funky old cougar or Xavier Cugat.
damn, i’ll settle for cugat, meee-ow!
I’m more of a puma myself.
Hey, Ava come over to the Injections thread for a minute. Boys who aren’t Bruce are being dense and I need you.
Man, I’m just going crazy chauffeuring kids around this evening. It’s kind of fun watching what they think is crucial, though!
Dave E. hits it on the head. Why don’t you listen your zillion CDs or albums or tapes instead of trying to stay busy being “productive”. Play one of your guitars on one of your amps.--Loser! And what’s with with the baggy clothes?
My older self would say, to no avail, Stay busy, ride a bike, keep connected. Don’t allow the blues to steal your soul.