Today brings sad news about Cynthia Jaynes Omololu, née Cyndie Jaynes, 18 months after her cancer diagnosis.
Her husband Bayo reports:
“Dear friends and family, tried to figure out how to let everyone know without putting a damper on your holidays, but it is with a broken heart that I have to tell you that the love of my life Cyn passed away this morning on her sleep. The last month and a half were extremely painful for her, but the one consolation was she died peacefully.”
Cyndie (as we knew her) filed her last Facebook post Nov. 25, and it embodies the wit and grace with which this talented author described the relationship to her illness ever since the first, brutal diagnosis just as her career in young adult fiction was taking off:
“Looks like the best leaf peeping in the Bay Area is in my oncologist’s parking lot.
“I know that there is a lot to be thankful for on this day, but I’m grateful to just still be here 17 months after diagnosis.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING to everyone, especially those who cooked, drove me places, left me a little something on the porch or a supportive text. For all of the suck that we’ve all experienced this past year, there is still more to be thankful for, and that to me looks like a win.”
I will always be grateful for the lessons she taught me about human endurance (and for her contributions to our pool of memories). Here’s a lovely reminiscence she blogged about some of us at El Cajon Blvd. Denny’s back in the day. And of course, here are just a few of the photos Cynthia shared with us from our time together:
Broken and heavy hearted to hear this news. What a huge loss of humor and spirit!
Is this our future? Our friends leaving this earth. Getting older. Battling these cruel diseases. And we wish we had spent more time together when we were here.
I will miss Cyndie! Thank you Matthew for posting these great pix!
I just heard on FB,
My dear, I’m so sorry. Cyndie was so very warm and generous towards me -- and I am sure to all. This is saddening news.
I did not get to meet Bayo or their children. God bless you, and all my heart’s care and sympathy. You know who you got to share time with, and are fortunate, even with loss.
I just looked up Cyndie’s first Facebook post announcing this shocking news to her friends. This and all the posts to follow were remarkably positive, witty and descriptive. I don’t know that I’ve ever read a more compelling description of the step by step of a terminal illness — and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t manage it.
So…it’s been a kind of a sucky week here at Casa Omololu. I’ve had some pain in my side for a few months -- at first we thought it was ovarian pain, but a scan earlier this year showed that everything was clear. Then we thought it was kidney stones, but another test showed that wasn’t the case. Last weekend, my energy disappeared so I finally got an CT scan and the results were not good -- I was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer that has spread to my liver and my bones (so far). There is a big tumor in my colon, several in my liver and now they have found cancer in my c5 vertebrae (so if you see me, don’t hug me too hard because they’re worried I’ll break my neck) and probably my right hip. Because of the tumor pressing against my kidney, one of them has shut down, which is where the pain is coming from. We’ve scanned things as symptoms arise, but we’re doing a full MRI next week that should show the final cancer tally. Fingers crossed this is it.
Not to sugar coat this -- this is a terminal diagnosis. Until we start treatment, we don’t know how long. The short- term goal is to see Taemon graduate from high school in four years, but so far they can’t promise that. Right now, they are treating things in order of importance -- they’re very worried about my spine so we start radiation on my neck on Monday. After that, we will get a port installed and do chemo and if the tumor shrinks enough, will have colon surgery down the road. The good news is that until that surgery happens, I won’t have to be in the hospital and I shouldn’t lose my hair from the chemo. And now it should be easy to lose those last pesky 10 lbs I’ve been hanging onto. We don’t have any cancer in our family, except for an aunt who beat breast cancer over 20 years ago, and I’m still too young for a baseline colonoscopy so this has taken even my doctors by surprise. (Do I even need to make the point that if you’re over 50 you should be scheduling one as soon as you stop reading this post?I was terrified, but it’s really no big deal.) I’m being treated by an amazing team at the Palo Alto Medical Foundation down in Fremont and they have met together and fast-tracked everything.
This is a closed FB group of close family and friends -- I will be updating things here because I already hang around FB enough. If there are people you know who would like to be added, please have them DM me and I will (I have taken most of my teenaged friends off it, but I can add them back if they want). On the flip side, if you’d like to be taken off I totally understand, so let me know. A lot of people (including one of my kids -- if you know us, you know which one) don’t want to know all of the details. My mom, who is the original superwoman, is coming on Monday to stay with us indefinitely, so we don’t really have any short-term needs. We’re so lucky to have my Dad, stepmom and sister nearby to help with everything and my neighbors and friends are the best. Bayo has been a rock and has sat by me at every appointment, no matter how bad the news -- we’re lucky that our bosses let us take time off wink emoticon
We’re trying to keep things as normal as possible. Taemon is still going to JC at camp and play football, Jaron is still going to work and play on his travel baseball team and I’m trying to get Bayo to get back into a routine. Except for some kidney and neck pain, I feel okay so far. Mornings are best for me -- I’m usually up between 3 and 5am (if you know the younger me, you know how strange that is), and things get harder as the day goes on. My next book is still coming out in February and I’m planning to be here for the launch. Everything after that is up in the air. I’m finally getting to catch up on old Parks & Rec episodes and doing a lot of reading.
I’ve been on the other end of this news and I know exactly how all of you feel. This sucks, there’s no reason for it and we’re all pretty pissed. But we’re determined to do everything we can so that I can hang out and annoy everyone for as long as possible. We really don’t need much except your good wishes and for everything to stay the way it is as much as possible as we adjust to this new normal. I have an amazing group of friends and family that make us truly grateful. We love you guys!