While waiting for the crème brûlée French toast to finish baking and the coffee to drip, I realized I was remiss in not prepping a little shout-out to the mothers among us … and perhaps to our own moms as well.
From what I’ve read on these pages, we’ve got some pretty rockin’ mamas participating here — and many of the rest of us are lucky enough to have hooked up with one.
Not a new subject for us by any means, but one that deserves its own thread: Whether you’re a parent yourself or just the product of one (or more), what’s your adult perspective on this whole child-rearing business?
And for the breeders/rearers/crazy aunts and uncles in the audience: What have the children in your lives taught you about yourself — and your own parents?
Happy Mother’s Day!
… And in case I asked too many tough questions for a holiday, here’s an easy one: What’s everybody doing for Mother’s Day?
matthew, thanks. this is truly the hardest, but most rewarding job i’ve ever had. henry is amazing and cool. he makes me laugh on a regular basis and we have the best conversations about all kinds of random things. the most recent was the thoughtful development of a zombie proof fortress, you know, in case of zombie plague. he made sure that there were sound systems and a disco ball, just to blow off steam. he’s hilarious.
his friends recently voted me the “cool mom”. i guess that’s because i am just a big dork and make the days fun without over planning. we kind of ride the wave and enjoy ourselves. our life is not a huge schedule and that suits us really well.
brenden berg once said to me that i just needed to be a mama. that having kids would give me an outlet for all the maternal behaviors i exhibited toward all of my guy friends when we were growing up. when he said it i think i slapped his shoulder and growled at him. but now? looking back? he was so right. i still DO get all mommish on my friends, and that’s an innate part of me, to be a comforter. but hen gets all the best of it now, and it’s truly wonderful to have him around.
yet it’s not all roses. parenting can be the biggest challenge. giving him the structure he needs (without a bajillion extracurricular activities) is so essential. so we have great ground rules. they are pretty simple.
1. think before you speak or act. think hard about how you want this moment to be remembered. and if you don’t, and you act out, we can talk it over, or just hit the reset button. the reset button is a huge thing around here. it’s our failsafe. no one is perfect, and we all mess up, so sometimes we just hit that button and move on.
2. no day goes by without a hug and a quiet moment to talk about the day.
3. respect yourself, and others will follow suit.
when he was a little dude the rules were far different. they consisted of no hitting, kicking, etc. and don’t yell at mom.
today we are going to go have breakfast at my favorite shop. and then hen is going to his bffs house so i can go on a hike BY MYSELF. yes, that is mother’s day perfection to me. time alone. mmmm, hear that? that’s the sound of quiet. yay! because, newsflash, even mamas who adore and like the kids we love need space to be ourselves alone. yep, it’s true. and it makes us better mamas when we are with those kiddos we care for.
happy mother’s day to all the mamas on che, and to the amazing people who help those mamas. xoxoxox
New gang for all us baby daddies on the blog: the Greenwich Village West Mother Huggers!
I can see the jacket patches now.
ava wrote- “even mamas who adore and like the kids we love need space to be ourselves alone.”
Yes, my wife is off to the movies so she can have some time to her self and see Star Trek…..alone.
Our son made her a present at preschool which almost made her cry and her joy made him so proud, he smiles all the time but I have never seen my boy smile like that, very proud, very cool.
Just to keep everyone as self-conscious as possible: I’m really stoked at how much estrogen this blog has absorbed over the past months.
It really was quite the sausage hang at the beginning … And I honestly got a little worried that we were going to end up being strictly defined by the sort of glory-days self-congratulation to which middle-aged boys’ clubs are so susceptible.
We’ve got plenty of that, no doubt — and that’s great, ’cause what’s a rock-‘n’-roll scene without a little self-aggrandizement? But it’s a lot more interesting having all you empowered wimmens here …
At risk of gender stereotyping, I’ve found your presence helps cut some of the rear-view hagiography down to size and magnify real, contemporary triumphs (like parenthood). So … Thanks for being here and keeping it real! 🙂
We’re taking Nancy to CENTRAL PARK!!
Leigh and I coach a girls soccer team..they scheduled a make-up game for 12 noon today
So, no nice brunch or anything..it’s soccer time
dont tell anyone…but it will be dinner out later
My kid makes every day Mother’s Day. She wrote me a poem and painted a portrait. And thanked me for providing her with health insurance. I don’t remember how the world turned before she was born.
robin, neither do i.
matthew, man, glad to oblige!
I am bummed that my family won’t be in San Diego for Che Games. I promise to bore you all to tears with my electronic keychain photo gallery of spouse, kids and pets.
henry is actually kind of pissed that i’m not bringing him. he wants to see, for himself, all the people who helped make his mom so cool. i told him that without all of you i’d still be a bad poet living under the delusion that i was destined to marry shaun cassidy. he asked me, “who the hell is shaun cassidy?”
yeah, next time i will bring him.
>>i told him that without all of you i’d still be a bad poet living under the delusion that i was destined to marry shaun cassidy.
Ava: Of course, karma dictates you are now destined to marry the grown-up Shaun Cassidy. Who knows what he’s up to? He may be reading the blog this very moment and wishing you’d asked him out in 1976. Or Leif Garrett.
ha!
Shaun Cassidy and Todd Rundgren attack David Bowie -- happy belated Mother’s Day!
My take (and, fortunately, my wife feels exactly the same) on the child-rearing thing is that I’m simply not responsible enough, nor patient enough, nor selfless enough to be bringing another human life into this jacked-up world. I’m often in awe of those who do it well, and far more often in shock at those who do it without much care.
As to what we did for Mother’s Day, my wife and I took my mom to brunch at a great restaurant (Blanca) in Solana Beach. Then, after dropping my mom off at home, we went to the cemetery to visit my mother-in-law’s grave site.
In my current child-rearing situation, I have the benefit of hindsight. I have a 19 year old daughter and a three year old son. The second time around is so much easier than the first. I am much more relaxed and patient than I once was…and I’m glad…boys are a challenge when they are young. My only complaint is that I don’t have as much energy, but I certainly am in better health these days. Don’t drink. Don’t smoke. Don’t go out. My son gets my full attention. And I can be here for my daughter in the midst of all her crazy drama, without spinning out myself.
My mama’s day gift was going to see Star Trek too Dylan! omg. loved. it.
Grateful for the boost of female flavor on this blog, Robin and Ava especially, who are regulars here. Gives it more depth.
You gals put “balls to the walls”!
Smoochies to you and Ava, Kristen.
Nothing, nothing, nothing in my life has ever come close to the wonder of motherhood.
I can’t stop kissing my son’s cheeks.
omg. the cheeks. henry is regularly subjected to cheek smooches and a cuddle fest. he’s ten, so sometimes he gets all dude like on me and wants to go play wii. but most days i can get him to submit to the snuggle.
and k, yep, i have way too little time to be anything but straight up.
yesterday i hiked a really tough trail and today my ass is 80 shades of achy. but i know that i did the right thing, because i feel dynamic in spite of that. mother’s day should be all about what mama wants. because, as i preach to anyone who will listen:
if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
ava, yes. ain’t it too true. mama is the hub of the wheel. when I’m not happy, my hubby and my kidlets are le miserable.
I took my son to see Star Trek on Saturday, to give Raquel a little break at home. It was great! I’m currently embracing my inner nerd, and it feels good. Feels like goin’ home.
My three year old wakes me up by petting my face…hugs and kisses, every morning.
RAY -- I’m dying to see the new Star Trek. Is it too much on the special effects and noise.? It seems like they get progressively louder and too high tech as they progress.
I’m still happiest watching the two-part Picard/Borg series stuff.
I have a hive.
It has a queen.
She is the greatest mother I know.
I will steal her honey anyway.
I don’t know what Locutus would think of me.
I know he’d dig the hive.
Patrick Works
Beekeeper
frank has THE best expression on his face. i think i like him best in that dress, btw.
It really brings out the color of his eyes.
Shiek yer booty