Today we mark a hidden milestone in the history of this blog: Thanks to the hard-working spam-blocking software deep in our boiler room, we’ve now intercepted 80,000 bogus spam messages intended to clutter up the comments section of Che Underground: The Blog.
I comb through this digital crap on a daily basis because occasionally your legitimate comments (almost 18,000 of those since we started the blog in February 2008) are misdirected into the spam filter. (If you don’t see your comment appear on a page, ping me at cheunderground@gmail.com; chances are good it’s fallen into the digital lint trap.)
While clearing out this dreck (as well as phony user registrations) is kind of a drag, the fractured English and weird non sequiturs can also be kind of funny. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure, here’s a sampling of our spam comments from the past 24 hours:
“Isn’t Fall Out Boy one of the greatestbandsto ever tour with Blink 182? Wasn’t their tour so good? They’re crazy!” — Setsuko Shives
“Hey there..Nice Site you have here! Just wanna leave a short info to suit your needs about how you can blow the girl’s head at the following Bbq-Party!” — Issac Maez
“Hello!
The name’s John, though most people call me ˜Freaky’. 😛 I’m in my ‘teens’ and kinda lost in the world at the moment ¦however, I’ve found the hippie ‘culture’ and discovered that it fits me very well ¦I’m not trying to fit into it, it just kind of fitted onto me.
I have lots of questions, which hopefully some of the older and wiser people on this board will be able to help answer.
Here’s to hoping this board will be able to help me discover more of myself and fuel my beliefs.
Peace out, John” — online payday
“Hi everyone
Just introduce myself: I am a man (says my wife), I am 50 years old (hmm, that looks bad isn’t it?) and I am a terrible bad programmer (I say myself).
My hobbies: computer (of course), my 17 years old son and of course my wife. I like to play billiard, I do a very little bit and very simple programming in VB and I try to make a site for my billiard-club in the near future.
Keep smiling, John” — payday today
“Whoa, this blog is almost certainly at it over again, the young lady will never stop will she ¦ you can easily take a look at way more silly ladies at webcamgirls.” — Andre Metenosky
“Hi everyone
found this site just randomly..and as i love fashion and all the things that comes with it thought it would b a good idea to join ¦hope ur all friendly..:D
so how is everyone doing?? John” — payday today
“Thanks for giving us such an interesting details! Such a post author is without the shadow of a doubt knows what he is doing but also very intelligent too. There normally aint a limited number of bloggers who can come up with My bff Carolyn told me about this place a number of hours ago however now is the first time I’m visting. Many things, it’s getting bookmarked! Woots!” — Gastroenterologist in New Jersey
“I wanted to pop in and say I’m diggin what you’re sayin’! You’ve made some strong points and while I don’t like everything you’ve said I think you make a good argument. Keep up the good work ˜cus I’ll be checkin’ up on you later. Your blog is on my radar now and I’m interested to see what’s next. And while I’m here I want to give a shout out to girls in bondage because we all need a little bondage in our lives.” — billiard lights
“So who is gonna win in a fight then? Spiderman or Superman? I love Superman, but I think Spiderman looks more like he’s pumped up on the best sports supplements ¦so I reckon Spiderman is gonna win. What do you think?” — Emmy Havice
Oh! I’d like to set this one to the tune of REM’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)”:
“Hello! call: asics shoes homepage richmond melbourne police station richmond community of ethics and meaning springfield missouri powerplant , calvin klein black patent tan heels background on dolce gabbana fashion shows , asolo adventure equipment subway richmond highway alexandria virginai mary loreno richmond or men’s gucci classic loafer alpinestars 360 r drystar , gucci positano handbag gucci mane freaky girl mp3 guess gu 1545 frames and adidas coupons cheap true religion maternity pants guess wege sneakers new anne klein chronograph diamond ladies , zeus renters insurance arches national park arch collapes faux prada bag cesare paciotti handbags london . good day…!!!”
Woots!
Woots! I still think Superman would win, although Billy Zoom could take ’em both.
Word.
“Блог хороший слов нет. Но чтобы он развивался нужно чтобы была прибыль т.к когда одни расходы и время пользы мало.”
I believe that first word is “blog,” and the third is “slob.” This may actually be a Russian fan of Scott Slob.
“Hey, that Justin Bieber |really is cool,” Emil Landolf tells us. “My family watched him last week. Justin’s performance was super cool. Justin played most of his good stuff.”
As opposed to all the outtakes and B-sides Master Bieber has racked up throughout his career. Thanks, Emil.
Here’s advice on how to annoy girls in malls:
Food Court? I’m so glad this important advice is making wider circulation, with your diligent assistance, Matthew!
Although, I am surprised that you didn’t brush up the Google Translation -- tho’ we are both familiar with the original, in Cantonese.
What do you say to the gals when you are not flourishing?
>>What do you say to the gals when you are not flourishing?
“Please water me”?
I’ll take a double water on the rocks. Freaky post. Good to see that you have your eyes on every corner, Mathew!
“Farm {animals|pets} are {great|excellent|fantastic|good|wonderful|terrific|superb|amazing|awesome|outstanding} {help|assist|aid|support} {in the|within the|inside the|inside|from the|with the|in your|while in the|during the|within your} farm {for the|for that|for your|to the} {balance|stability|sense of balance|equilibrium} {of the|from the|with the|in the|on the} vegetation.” — Patience Macaulay
Could someone please explain the origins of “Woot” for me, please? I don’t LIVE on the Internet… (But I guess I am a HUGE poseur for attending an event called “Wootstock” during Comic-Con weekend!)
>>Could someone please explain the origins of “Woot” for me, please?
Lesha: Wikipedia offers a trove of theories:
I’m not familiar with “woots” as a plural noun, however!
“hihihi! I really like your post on Che Underground: The Blog » Blog Archive » Flyers from the Mendoza Collection. My name is Ho Chi Minh, can we exchange links?”
Another celebrity visits us!
We seem to have a spate of posts about albino leopard geckos today.
Many of the 634 messages I just erased were in this vein: “When feeding your albino leopard gecko you need to make it possible for it will not be longer than its body or greater than half as vast as its head. You can find crickets, mealworms, silkworms, locusts, and wax worms are some of its favorite food.”
Lesha,
Encyclopedia Dramatica is a great site for explaining Internet nonsense:
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/W00t
“How to Make My Penis Bigger” seems to be the key phrase du jour. (I believe the correct answer is “stimulate it,” if I remember correctly the reading I did back in sixth grade.)
“Hi guys… thank you, but why the hell does this underwear seem to be red??”
Anybody want to answer this one?
> “How to Make My Penis Bigger” seems to be the key phrase du jour. (I believe the correct answer is “stimulate it,” if I remember correctly the reading I did back in sixth grade.)
… which gives new meaning (or perhaps old meaning) to the du jour term “stimulus package”….
“Hi, was just browsing through the internet looking for some information and came across your blog” writes Bellaire plumbers TX. “I am impressed by the information that you have on this blog. It shows how well you understand this subject. Bookmarked this page, will come back for more. You, my friend, ROCK!!!”
Hint: My friends do not tell me I “ROCK!!!”
Matthew, you ROCK!
… 99,958 …
… 99,990! …
Hmmmm..maybe 200,000 will be a little more exciting!
“This is a great post. You’d never believe it, but these vibrating panties are absolutely comfortable,” writes Vito Sein. “Sometimes, I even wear them to work… I ordered these vibrating panties from Tickle. They’re only $74.99 on sale – I see them for more than 100 bucks.”
Nothing more comfortable in the office than vibrating panties.
Wow! This is a poignant story of one man’s battle with prepared seafood, courtesy of Berry Dastoli:
“I never thought that dating a gastronomic nature will be such unpleasant. The thing is, I adore canned fish, and as usual, bought at a local store two packages of fish meatballs in tomato sauce. Savoring the moment when I can finally get home, boil the potatoes, pour it hot and so tasty, sunflower oil, with a distinctive twang, open, anticipating the moment of absorption of fish balls, and with relish the whole thing to use under the pile, cold vodka, and then go to watch their favorite show.
“In practice, everything seemed to just outrageous. But here’s the process of drinking problems. Acquaintance with such a low quality canned food, production of the city of Rybinsk, I have met only once, when he served in the north, then we fed the contents of the tin containers a 30-year-old, although no one was poisoned and died, but the hospital with the problems of the gastrointestinal tract lie had. Half an hour later I felt a malaise, fever, and I longed bursting.
“Since then, I hate the town of Rybinsk, and all of its residents who work in fish processing.”
This We Laid: “If you are realyy serious about having your own chickens and don’t want to cause them unnessecary stress, download a free plan on how to build a spacesious chicken coop,” Alba Bowdich writes. “There is no better feeling than having your children takeing care of their chickens and them being proud of their own layed eggs!
“Please check out this facebook page, we are trying to become a big resource on owning chickens so please share your stories, pictures, plans and what not!”
“The very root of your writing while appearing agreeable at first, did not work properly with me after some time. Somewhere within the paragraphs you actually managed to make me a believer but only for a very short while. I still have a problem with your leaps in assumptions and one might do well to fill in all those breaks. When you actually can accomplish that, I could definitely be fascinated.”
English, as She is Spoke.
“Your post made my lady friend’s penis grow by almost an inch. Keep up the good work!”
Uhhhhh … You’re welcome?
I had to post this one from “cheap ugg boots” because I think it’s amazingly poetic:
“it’s not possible to get that sort of snowshoe anymore, he said.”